Penis Enlargement Pills
Table of Contents
There are some pills out there that say they can give you a bigger penis. Do they, though? Despite the fact that the companies that manufacture and sell penis-enlargement pills can pay hundreds of people to say that their penis grew bigger, general market research and customer testimonials roundly agree that penis-enlargement pills do not work. Well, there are pills out there that will give you a huge boner.
There are even “herbal” supplements, like the bullshit you see at the gas station, that can give you a huge boner. But when you see huge boner, think of a huge stiff boner like a teenage boy gets.
Don’t think of a huge boner like a boner significantly larger than your normal boner. It would just be your regular dick, just fully erect. Which is nice. We all want big boners. Just don’t expect it to be any bigger than it was beforehand. Penis
Penis Enlargement Pumps
Yeah, baby! Austin Powers had a penis pump. Why not you? Well, penis pumps actually work. Sort of. You put your dick into this tube and it pumps the air out of it. Some models have an electric pump, others have a hand-operated valve.
The vacuum created causes your dick to inflate, which makes it a little longer, fatter and more rigid then ever! The veins will even pop out like those of the dude’s biceps on your MANOWAR album. There are drawbacks. For one, you will notice right away that your inflated dick has grown an unhealthy looking purple shade. This is because your blood vessels are being pushed to the limits of their capacities and are on the verge of bursting.
Do penis pumps cause blood vessels to burst? They surely can and do, depending on how they are used. The other drawback is the fact that you can’t really fuck anybody or jerk yourself off while your dick is in a penis pump, so you’ll have to take it out at some point.
As soon as you take it out, your dick will begin shrinking back to normal penis size.
Some people try to slow this effect with the use of a cock ring, with some success. But eventually, even with cock ring your dick will go back to rego boner status.
The verdict? Treat penis pumps the same as you would a penis tugging regimen: It’s a useful tool that you can use to increase the size of your penis over time, because moderate prolonged use will eventually stretch your penis in all dimensions. It’s also a tool that can ruin your dick, because overdoing it will burst your blood vessels and possibly render you impotent. Proceed with caution. If you end up with a big floppy purple dick, you’re really just trading one problem for another.
Surgical Implants
There are a few penis enlargement surgeries out there that will reportedly increase the size of your penis. Generally, these involve either implants or tissue transplants that add length or girth to your member. There are drawbacks.
First of all, complications associated with these surgeries are numerous. Before you undergo any dick surgery, you will be asked to sign a waiver releasing the surgeon from any responsibility regarding your eventual impotence, other complications, or the fact that the surgery just didn’t work.
The reason for this is because sometimes these surgeries result in floppy and unnatural looking dicks that aren’t really any bigger than they were beforehand. “Successful” surgeries include penises that are never quite flaccid again, penises that are shaped like ice cream cones and other oddities.
Add on the fact that these surgeries are extremely expensive and don’t go a long way with adding any appreciable length or girth to your penis and the verdict is don’t fuck around with surgical implants. I mean, if you’ve tried everything else, I mean you really actually tried for a couple years and had no success, then maybe go get some more information about dick implant surgery. But until you have reached that point, try every single other option first. Cutting the
Suspensory Ligament Dick Surgery
There’s this ligament down in your crotch called the suspensory ligament that stabilizes your penis, particularly while erect. You know how a couple few inches of your dick stays inside of your torso, near your prostate? Some years back, a surgeon figured out that if you cut this suspensory ligament then more of the penis will spill out into the world.
This adds a couple inches of length to your dick! There are drawbacks. For one, the surgery doesn’t add any girth to the penis. So it’s not a complete fix, although you won’t be in as much danger of kickstand penis as you would with drastic tugging exercises.
But speaking of the tugging exercises, another drawback to the suspensory ligament dick surgery is that for about six weeks after surgery you’ll have to wear weights on your dick that will keep the ligament from healing back to its natural state.
I’ve had a hard time finding any testimonials from patients having to live with dick weights for a month and a half, but you can use your imagination to figure out that it would be a somewhat cumbersome load.
The last drawback is the fact that your dick’s suspensory ligament has been cut. After undergoing this surgery, your dick will behave as if it is flaccid even while it’s erect. It can still get nice and rigid, but it’s not going to want to point up or stand at attention. It kind of flops around, even from side to side. It’s also god-awful expensive. This procedure, which should seemingly be no more complicated than a vasectomy, will set you back thousands and thousands of dollars.
Though Germany is the world leader in dick surgery, it might be worth your while to fly out to Thailand and see if you can get this done on the cheap. The verdict on penile ligament surgery: A little bit better than implant surgery but should still be treated as a last resort.
Doomed To A Small Penis?
Maybe you’ve tried everything and it didn’t work. Or maybe God cursed you with such a small penis to begin with that even after all this rigamarole your dick still isn’t quite what you want it to be. If that’s the case, you have my sympathy. What you need then is some peace of mind in your attitude toward your small dick.
Remember, as long as you can reach an orgasm and shoot loads of semen then your dick is functional and doing its job. You can’t really hate on it. It might seem like running two big hands up and down a giant schlong would be more pleasurable than masturbating your little regular dick, but big cocks don’t mean bigger orgasms or bigger loads.
Just be happy you can jerk off. If you have a partner that needs some type of orifice filled, there’s this ancient text called the Kama Sutra that has whole articles on how to stimulate vaginas and assholes with smaller members. There are also dildos you can buy at the mall that vibrate and do other crazy shit.
Sex with accessories can be just as intimate as regular sex. Maybe more so, because it requires communication and the understanding of your partner’s needs.
Have you ever hooked up with a girl that maybe had some serious bacon strips or perhaps some mismatched titties and was very self-conscious about them? Maybe she wouldn’t let you turn the light on, or maybe wouldn’t let you put your mouth on them because she was embarrassed? All the time, you think, “They are still titties, or it’s still a pussy. Just let me enjoy them.” It’s not the wonky boobs or the mondo labia that was the issue, it’s the embarrassment.
A tiny penis doesn’t really kill sex or intimacy, attitudes toward the tiny penis do. Learn to love yourself and your dick or your partner won’t be able to either. You are an entire human being. Your mere words can arouse your partner.
You have a tongue and fingers and any number of accessories at your disposal that can get your partner off. No matter what size it is, your dick should be able to send your head to the clouds in orgasm.